1. Be religious
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No, to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what future would have you to do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.,
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a something with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough exercise.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. While driving, listen to a tape that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write thoughts and inspirations down.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to friends on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you!"
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but yourself not at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.
There is A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
Have A Happy Day!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Check your serial number
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone
* # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody did this, there would be no point in stealing mobile phones.
* # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody did this, there would be no point in stealing mobile phones.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Funnnnnnnnnnnnn
English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor"
Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,
"NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"FRIENDS STAND BEHIND U DURING UR BAD TIMES"
Do u want a documentary proof ??
Ok,In future check out ur marriage album..U'll find all friends behind u !!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is Respect
At her LIPS is Love
CHEEKis Heroism
NECK is Lust
BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY
Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,
"NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"FRIENDS STAND BEHIND U DURING UR BAD TIMES"
Do u want a documentary proof ??
Ok,In future check out ur marriage album..U'll find all friends behind u !!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is Respect
At her LIPS is Love
CHEEKis Heroism
NECK is Lust
BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY
AMDA IN MEDICAL SCHOOL...
Amda applied to a Medical School.
These were his answers in the MTT (Medical Terms Test) : -
Antibody - against everyone
Artery - the study of fine paintings
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria
Benign - what you be after you be eight
Bowel - letters like a, e, i, o, u
Caesarian Section - a district in Rome
Cardiology - advanced study of Poker playing
Cat Scan - searching for lost kitty
Chronic - neck of a crow
Coma - punctuation mark
Cortisone - area around local court
Cyst - short for sister
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana
Dislocation - this is the place
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans
Enema - not a friend
False Labour - pretending to work
Genes - blue denim
Groin - to mash to a pulp/smile
Hernia - she is close by
Hymen - greetings to several males
Impotent - distinguished/well-known
Labour Pain - hurt at work
Lactose - people without feet
Lymph - walk unsteadily
Microbes - small dressing gowns
Obesity - City of Obe
Pacemaker - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
Protein - in favor of teens
Pulse - grain
Pus - small cat
Red Blood Count - Dracula
Rupture - Ecstasy
Secretion - hiding anything
Subcutaneous - not cute enough
Tablet - small table
Tumor - extra pair
Ultrasound - radical noise
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose ; - very close
Vas Deferens - extremely different
Vein - at what time?
Vitreous Humor - both witty & funny
These were his answers in the MTT (Medical Terms Test) : -
Antibody - against everyone
Artery - the study of fine paintings
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria
Benign - what you be after you be eight
Bowel - letters like a, e, i, o, u
Caesarian Section - a district in Rome
Cardiology - advanced study of Poker playing
Cat Scan - searching for lost kitty
Chronic - neck of a crow
Coma - punctuation mark
Cortisone - area around local court
Cyst - short for sister
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana
Dislocation - this is the place
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans
Enema - not a friend
False Labour - pretending to work
Genes - blue denim
Groin - to mash to a pulp/smile
Hernia - she is close by
Hymen - greetings to several males
Impotent - distinguished/well-known
Labour Pain - hurt at work
Lactose - people without feet
Lymph - walk unsteadily
Microbes - small dressing gowns
Obesity - City of Obe
Pacemaker - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
Protein - in favor of teens
Pulse - grain
Pus - small cat
Red Blood Count - Dracula
Rupture - Ecstasy
Secretion - hiding anything
Subcutaneous - not cute enough
Tablet - small table
Tumor - extra pair
Ultrasound - radical noise
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose ; - very close
Vas Deferens - extremely different
Vein - at what time?
Vitreous Humor - both witty & funny
NEW OFFICE POLICY
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders'category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders'category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
A positive force
Today, you can be a positive force in a negative world.
Today, you have the opportunity to truly make a difference.
When you come across greed, incompetence, disrespect,
despair, or injustice, don't simply get angry or frustrated.
Instead, get busy.
Get busy thinking of what specific steps you can take to
make it better. Then get busy committing yourself and taking
those steps.
You can't do anything to prevent what has already happened.
Yet you can do much, in your own way, to make your corner of
the world a more peaceful, loving, creative, intelligent and
caring place.
When you're tempted to curse the negativity that's all
around you, stop and remember that your cursing will do
little good. Rather than focusing on what's wrong, step
forward and do something that's overwhelmingly right.
Improve your corner of the world, and that corner will grow
more positively influential. Keep on being a positive force,
and little by little, you can create a great and wonderful
transformation.
Today, you have the opportunity to truly make a difference.
When you come across greed, incompetence, disrespect,
despair, or injustice, don't simply get angry or frustrated.
Instead, get busy.
Get busy thinking of what specific steps you can take to
make it better. Then get busy committing yourself and taking
those steps.
You can't do anything to prevent what has already happened.
Yet you can do much, in your own way, to make your corner of
the world a more peaceful, loving, creative, intelligent and
caring place.
When you're tempted to curse the negativity that's all
around you, stop and remember that your cursing will do
little good. Rather than focusing on what's wrong, step
forward and do something that's overwhelmingly right.
Improve your corner of the world, and that corner will grow
more positively influential. Keep on being a positive force,
and little by little, you can create a great and wonderful
transformation.
ROMANTIC MATH
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot
and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try understand her at all.
MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes,
there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate through the night.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot
and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try understand her at all.
MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes,
there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate through the night.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>
1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3E's - Energy, Enthusiasm & Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of seventy & under the age of six.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra
class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3E's - Energy, Enthusiasm & Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of seventy & under the age of six.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra
class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wisdom~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Knowledge is what you know about some particular thing or another. Wisdom is what you know about all that is.
Facts and concepts exist in your mind. Wisdom exists in all that you are.
When faced with a decision, your thoughts will take you only so far. After reaching that point, let wisdom guide you.
Wisdom is what you know without the slightest bit of doubt or hesitation. When you act based on wisdom, you act with real confidence and true purpose.
Wisdom is more than merely the memory of a certain set of facts, conditions or circumstances. Wisdom is an awareness of what is, combined with a love of life, of light, of truth.
Wisdom is there for you to discover and nurture in each
moment. Open your mind, your heart, and your spirit to the wisdom that can bring real and lasting value to your world.
Facts and concepts exist in your mind. Wisdom exists in all that you are.
When faced with a decision, your thoughts will take you only so far. After reaching that point, let wisdom guide you.
Wisdom is what you know without the slightest bit of doubt or hesitation. When you act based on wisdom, you act with real confidence and true purpose.
Wisdom is more than merely the memory of a certain set of facts, conditions or circumstances. Wisdom is an awareness of what is, combined with a love of life, of light, of truth.
Wisdom is there for you to discover and nurture in each
moment. Open your mind, your heart, and your spirit to the wisdom that can bring real and lasting value to your world.
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